26 March 2007

Unexpected Events

Remember a few posts back when I talked about the gay guy I work with? Yeah, so we've hung out a few times after work since then. He's been a good friend. We went and saw 300 last week, which I must recommend to any of you who indulge in R-rated movies. The cinematography was awesome and the action was non-stop.

Anyway, so I was driving home from work tonight and he calls me up on the old cellphone. He chatted about some random stuff for a little while, and I could tell he was skirting around something. Finally he says, "Now, you've told me that you are Mormon. I don't know much about Mormons. Tell me about your church."

That kind of caught me off guard. I said, "Well, do you have several hours to talk?" He said yes, so I rattled off a few introductory statements and then exploded into a first discussion. It was wild. I was driving home, cellphone in one hand, steering wheel in the other, fighting traffic and trying to sound as sincere and spiritual as I could given my current situation. I told him about God and his love for us. I told him about prophets. I told him about Joseph Smith. I told him about the Book of Mormon. I told him that he didn't have to take anybodies word for it, but he could study it and pray about it himself.

He was enthralled in the conversation and agreed whole-heartedly to read the Book of Mormon. Then he said, "Well, this is all really interesting to me, but I do have to ask you one question. What is the Mormon's stance with homosexuals?"

There were approximately 12,587 things that went through my mind in that instant. I paused for a moment, collected my thoughts, and then told him that I was a gay Mormon. I explained that the church welcomes and accepts all people, but there are certain lifestyle choices that are not accepted. I told him that based on many very spiritual experiences I have had in my life I had made the decision to live as a Mormon should. He told me that a friends of his had always berated Mormons and our anti-gay policies. I explained that they weren't anti-gay policies, they were anti-certain-types-of-behavior policies that apply to everyone, not just gay people. He went on to explain how he just couldn't accept what other people were telling him because I was nice and every time he sees and talks to me it puts a smile on his face and makes him feel good all day. Wow. I've never had a girl tell me that. It really made me feel good.

So we talked a bit more about the church, but I was getting bad reception on my phone so I asked if he wanted to just meet somewhere for dinner and we could chat. We met up at this really good little Mexican restaurant (ohh, how I love Mexican food) and spent the next 2 hours talking. We talked more about the church, I talked about my mission, we talked about work and just our lives in general. All in all it was a fun evening. I got to bear my testimony, I committed him to read the Book of Mormon, and we became closer friends.

Here's the part where I say, "uh-oh, this can't be good." I grab my leftovers and he his and we walk out to my car. I put my stuff in the car, and turn around to say goodnight. He gives me a hug in just a casual, friendly manner and thanks me for meeting up and talking. We separate, and then he says, "wait a minute, I need to give you another hug." I said okay, not thinking anything of it. Well, he hugs me again, but in a more than friendly way, and kisses me on the neck. That caught me completely off guard. We separated and I just smiled and said goodnight and went home. I didn't want to enjoy it, but I really did.

Genesis 21
1 And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, here I am.
2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

D&C 101
4 Therefore, they must needs be chastened and tried, even as Abraham, who was commanded to offer up his only son.

Is this my Abrahamic test?



MoHoHawaii said...

If you one day decide that the sexual temptation is just too great, you might cut off your friendship with him abruptly. That would really hurt his feelings.

He has a crush on you, so if you decide to pass on his offer to get to know you better, be kind about it. It's not just about your struggle to stay faithful to the Church; it's also about his heart. :-)

Good luck.

playasinmar said...

On March 9th I posted:

Don't assume that "the gay lifestyle" means you'll end up trading lewd acts in the parking lot.

You may find you like "the real-world lifestyle" of a five-mile hike or attending the premire of Spiderman 3 with a hottie.


If the church is morally neutral on homosexuality then good news: Neither kissing nor hugging violates the law of chastity.

More good news: Both kissing and hugging are expected steps toward finding that special someone.

You're gonna hit a snag at the marraige step but we may be getting ahead of ourselves. :)

Distinguishing Preoccupation said...

Great! Just Great! He was probably fine to live his life as a gay man and now he's getting baptized and and he's gonna have all the struggles we do to cope with being LDS and gay! Good one! lol I'm kidding.

Well, you've got guts, thats for sure. This will be an interesting one to see how it plays out. I taught and baptized a guy on my mission who is now living a gay life. It was one of those "I would have never guessed" situations.
Keep Us Posted!


Anonymous said...

Max, you just had an incredible missionary experience that brought the Spirit into the friendship. We all know that the Spirit is pure love that envelops us and prompts us to express love. It’s no surprise that a fellow who has possibly never sensed the Spirit so strongly didn’t know exactly how to react to it. Perhaps his affinity for you and the overwhelming joy he was experiencing after hearing the Gospel Truth made him react in a way that expressed love to him. Does that mean that he wants you sexually? Your guess is as good as mine. Your decision to share the Gospel with him was out of pure love, wasn’t it? Is it possible he was just returning the favor in a way that he understood?

I would suggest that you don’t make it mean anything more than what it is. You obviously love this dude enough to share with him your most precious beliefs. Love him enough to follow through with the pure principles you just shared with him. As far as this being your Abrahamic Test, why not? I’m proud of you.

iwonder said...

I think you handled yourself admirably. I agree with what esquire said. You shared your testimony of the gospel with him, and that is always a good thing.

Of course you must also trust your feelings. If you feel that this relationship is going to get you into trouble, then you might want to give some credence to those feelings.

I say just follow your heart, and the spirit. Also, I don't know that there will be one singular experience in our lives that will be our "Abrahamic Test", I think that it is often a series and collection of events, experiences and challenges that last throughout our whole life - like the challenges of dealing with SSA for an entire lifetime.