A new beginning

I just got off the phone with my parents and my older sister. It was awesome. They were so loving and supportive that it was almost annoying. ;-P

You know, I actually knew that this is what would happen when I told them. We're a great family. A very close family. There was never any reason for me to be scared or ashamed to talk to them about this. I wish I could have done this years ago. But, I do know why it sort of had to wait until now. It wasn't so much my own personal fears, as it was the fear of the news devastating my mom. I love her dearly, but she has always been one of those need-to-be-perfect people. She doesn't understand what the Atonement is really all about. She's one of those stereotypical Utah RS President-types that has to be going full-bore 24/7 at church stuff for fear of not working her way into heaven. I knew deep down inside that she couldn't handle this news until she finally had grandchildren, so that she would realize that she hadn't failed as a mother. If I had told her 1 year ago, she probably would have cracked.

I slyly talked about that with them on the phone today. Early on in the conversation she said how she was worried about me and if I ever slipped up once then I would somehow disqualify myself from living in the Celestial Kingdom. I told her I disagreed with that, and that God certainly would not condemn any of us to Hell for one mistake in our lives. He is much more forgiving than I think most Mormons give Him credit for. He knows our limitations. He knows our trials and our internal psychological and spiritual health. He understands. I went on about how the church is true, but Mormon culture can often be lame. I talked about how I've read articles that list Utah as the top per capita consumer of anti-depressants. I talked about how sad it was that so many people have the Truth in their lives and don't believe it. Mormons should be the healthiest physically and mentally of all people on the planet because we have an eternal perspective on things. Unfortunately that's not the case. We are so worried about working our way into heaven that the Atonement and grace of Christ gets in the way.

It was a good conversation. I think it opened her eyes a little to the fact that it's okay to not be Mary Poppins all the time.

Beyond that, we just chatted about my personal feelings. About what it's like. What my intentions for the future were.

Oh yeah, they hesitantly asked if that letter was a buildup to anything more drastic, such as introducing my boyfriend to them. I laughed. "No, there's nothing more above and beyond the letter." I think that was a great relief to them. Still, even if that were the case, it's good to know that they were okay with accepting me as their family member, and whatever else I brought along with me.

Anyway, I just wanted to give an update to my coming out experience. It was awesome. I feel much stronger today. It's a new beginning.

I'm going to need this extra strength when I run into boy-I-have-a-crush-on-and-he-on-me at work tomorrow.