14 March 2007

Are you master of your domain?

For some reason the "Master of Your Domain" episode of Seinfeld popped into my head today. Things like that happen. My brain is a fascinating piece of equipment. It makes the most random connections between things. That's why I'm kind of funny. Not funny in the sense that I make up original comedic material, but funny in the sense that my brain will regurgitate things at random so that I end up making comments that make people laugh.

Anyway, since I posted the other day about my issues with, um, self-gratification, I've noticed that this is also something that quite a few other guys are struggling with right now. So I thought we could give each other a hand... wait, maybe that's the wrong way to put it. We could help each other... no, not that either. We could create a contest in order to bolster those who are currently trying to kick the habit. Modeled, of course, after the IN-famous (meaning, "more than famous") Seinfeld episode of which has already been made mention.

1) Married guys can't participate. If you want some, you can go see your wife and that's not fair to us single guys.
2) Everyone who participates agrees to put up money Maybe $25 each? $50? It should be substantial enough to motivate everyone to try and succeed, but not so much that the poor guys in school can't afford to join the competition. We can agree on the amount after we see who (if anyone) signs up.
3) You have to be honest with everyone else and bow out and pay up if you lose
4) Keeping anonymity - money won't be collected until the end of the contest. Winner can set up a temporary PayPal account to receive funds. (Will that keep identities anonymous enough?)
5) Last man to go without incident wins all the cash!
6) Respond with a comment if you are interested.

Lastly, a little of my humor during an interview with an old Bishop:
Bishop: "Do you have problems with masturbation?"
Me: "Nope. It works every time."


Wayward Son said...

Best idea ever...

Where do I sign up? I can't touch 7 months, but this might just be the motivation I need for a personal record.

Le said...

lol I think this is a fun idea. If people get in on it i'm up for it. I tried it for lent but that didn't work so well, but if money is involved, then maybe...

Mormon Enigma said...

Married guys can't participate.

Darn, there I thought I was in for some easy cash :-)

Seriously, even though I'm ineligible, I think this is a good way for us MoHo's to help each other out.

Good luck, and may the best man win

playasinmar said...

I'm out!!!

Marmoreal said...

I admit I never followed Sienfeld, but I have caught a few of the repeats on the gym tv while running on the treadmill. As I recall, after some debate, Elaine was allowed to join the challenge. So if this challenge actually gets going are you guys willing to allow someone of the female persuasion to join in? I’ll get back to that question in a sec, but first a couple of ideas to throw out for your consideration.

Obviously, Sienfeld does not take place in a gospel setting so there are a couple underlying elements of that episode that don’t work so well for those attempting to live the gospel. For example, as happens with nearly any kind of “competition” there is a tendency to hope for and bust on others’ mess ups. Since I believe the idea behind the issuing of this challenge is to help all who wish to participate to experience some level of success why not establish a “minimum standard” as in everyone who participates agrees that no one gets any money if every one involved does not abstain for at least an initial (I don’t know two weeks, a month?). On the other end of the challenge in the Seinfield world is the idea that the challenge is simply a test of will and not an attempt to change behavior in the long-term. I think any concerned with this issue are aiming for eventually, complete abstinence. So to avoid the idea of just hanging in there for one day longer than the next to the last guy so I can collect the cash and then go back to old habits, how about establish another benchmark such that whoever’s the last one has to continue to abstain for at least one more month or whatever beyond the second to last person in order to qualify to receive any mula.

Another thing, what’s with the exclusion of the married guys? Yes, they have access to possible sexual gratification in other forms, but there are many reasons behind masturbation that have little to do with sexual gratification. Need I remind you that you’re excluding, uh, gay men who are married to women. Gay married guys back me up on this or correct me if I’m wrong, but I have a hunch that a number of the reasons that gay mohos masturbate are reasons that can’t be or can’t easily be satisfied simply by hooking up with their wives. And lastly, the more people involved in the challenge the more money on the table. How about a blanket statement that married or single if refraining from masturbation isn’t currently a problem then you need not apply, otherwise all are welcome to join in working on self-improvement?

Finally, back to my original question. Are the guys willing to let a girl into their clubhouse? I would argue that women have just as much sexual desire eating at them as guys do, but I realize there are men who ardently adhere to the premise that it’s easier for women to abstain than it is for men. I have a bit of a competitive streak at times and I think the competition element of the challenge would be enough for me to have some success at tackling this issue from a different approach. So I would be happy to throw my $25 into the pot for whoever abstains longest; and, for those who might think my feminine nature an unfair advantage, if I were to refrain from masturbating longer than any of you guys then I’ll keep my 25 bucks and the rest of the money can go to the last abstaining guy. So, whaddaya say?

AttemptingthePath said...

I'm so in!!!!

I think my bishop will not know what to say if I tell him I'm in an anti masturbation pool, for some cold hard cash.



Here's To Hope--I think we should create another blog and invite those who are wanting to get involved to participate as writers in it, then we can post when we've dropped out of the race.

I laughed so hard when I read this!!!!

My Best Is All I Have said...

If you want to join the contest, post your email address here so that I can invite you to be a member of the private blog I set up for it.