31 January 2008

The Cleanse - Day 5: Oh my kale!!

We're still going strong. And when I say "we" I am referring to me and my colon. This is actually a lot easier than I thought it would be - once you get past the mental block of not being able to eat salty snacks for a month.

Last night I discovered a new vegetable that I love - Kale. I've never eaten it before. In fact, when the doctor said that was one of the veggies that we should eat a lot of at dinners I asked, "What is kale?"

Turns out that it's a lot like chard/spinach. I cut off the stocks, then sauteed it in olive oil, balsamic vinegar, sea salt, lemon pepper and crushed red pepper flakes. I ate it with a little fresh lemon juice squeezed on it. It was absolutely delightful.

Today as I was putting together my salad for lunch, I was thinking of salad dressings (since I can only use balsamic vinegar or lemon/lime juice) and remembered how nice a good raspberry vinaigrette was. I thought, hmmm, why don't I make my own fruity flavored vinaigrette? So, I mixed some olive oil in with the balsamic vinegar, and then put blueberries in the salad. It was awesome. I think it was my favorite salad so far. I'm going to have to get various kinds of berries to garnish my salad with. I think even better would be to puree the berries into a liquid and then mix that juice with the balsamic vinegar.

Parable of the Sower

I've been listening to Jesus the Christ on mp3 when I drive to work for the last couple of weeks. Today I got to the chapter on the parables of Jesus, and the first one that the author addresses is the Parable of the Sower. It got me thinking, so I figured I would write about it a little on this nifty blogification machine that I have.

I'll quote the parable as written in Mark 4:3-8

  Behold, there went out a sower to sow:
   And it came to pass, as he sowed, some fell by the way side, and the fowls of the air came and devoured it up.
   And some fell on stony ground, where it had not much earth; and immediately it sprang up, because it had no depth of earth:
   But when the sun was up, it was scorched; and because it had no root, it withered away.
  And some fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up, and choked it, and it yielded no fruit.
  And other fell on good ground and did yield fruit that sprang up and increased; and brought forth, some thirty, and some sixty, and some an hundred.

The cool thing about this parable is that Jesus immediately gave the interpretation of it. The first set of seeds that fell by the wayside represent those who are immediately led away by Satan after hearing the word. The second set of seeds, that fell on stony ground, are those who hear the word and immediately receive it. But, they have no root, so they endure for a time but when affliction or persecution arise they reject it. The third set of seeds, that get choked by thorns are those who hear the word but for the cares of the world get choked out by the world's influence and reject the word. The fourth set of seeds are those who hear and accept the word and live it. Some are more valiant than others in that they produce 30, 60 or even 100 fold.

As I was listening to the explanation that the Talmage gave of the parable, my mind took a keen interest on the third set of seeds. Those that were cast among thorns. People who hear the word and accept it, but after a time their cares for the world choke out the good word.

I feel a lot like that. I've been active my whole life, and I have always had a strong testimony of the gospel, but over the last several years I feel like a lot of thorns have grown up around me, and I haven't been weeding my garden very well.

As I was pondering this, it struck me that I'm in a very precarious spot. In coming to terms with my sexual orientation and trying to fit all that in with the gospel plan, I'm finding that the thorns are obstructing my view of the purity of the gospel. It has made it harder to make the decisions that I need to make, and has caused me to make some bad decisions. It has cast much doubt in my mind and made me question my core testimony. And I think that it has been a very large contributor to the depression issues I have now and again.

It seems to me that it is time to put on some gloves, grab a trowel and start weeding the garden.

29 January 2008

The Cleanse - Day 3

I'm really surprised at how well everything is going so far on The Cleanse. And by well, I mean that I was the opposite of constipated yesterday. But, you probably don't want to get into a discussion about my overly-frequent bowel movements. :P

Anyway, I tried to cook the same thing from day 1 last night, but with some additions and it didn't turn out as well. I added in tomatoes and a few more spices. Unfortunately, I think that the tomatoes absorbed the balsamic vinegar flavor, so there wasn't much to cover up the core brussel sprout flavor - which is not very good. I just had to pound it down.

Tonight I decided to give the BS a break, and I headed for the asparagus. I also made some super awesome tomatillo salsa. I wanted to eat the asparagus with the salsa, but soggy asparagus stalks just didn't seem to be the way to eat it. So instead of steaming them I decided to sear them in a frying pan with a little bit of olive oil and some sea salt. They turned out AWESOME! I smothered them in fresh salsa and ate to my heart's content. I think that in this one meal I have doubled the total amount of asparagus that I have eaten in my life.

The one problem was that some of the fatter stalks didn't soften up very well in the searing and those were kind of like chewing on a tree branch. So next time I think I will briefly steam the asparagus so that all the stalks soften a bit, and then after the searing they will all be perfectly edible.

I also went to the gym last night. I was a little fearful that the lack of meat and fat in my diet would leave me wanting for energy during my workout. Twas not so! I lifted as intensely as I always do, and even added a few reps to my max bench press. So I was definitely not hurting for strength. Huzzah!

How to make my awesome tomatillo salsa:
1 lb tomatillos
1/4 of a large red onion
Fistfull of fresh cilantro
1-2 large jalapeno (more or less, depending on how hot you like it)
Juice of 1 fresh lime (more or less, depending on your taste buds)
1/4 tsp minced garlic (more or less, depending on how strong of a garlic kick you like)
Sea Salt (to taste)

Husk and wash the tomatillos. Boil the tomatillos and the jalapeno for about 5 minutes, until the tomatillos change from their dark green color to a medium green color. Drain the water. Add tomatillos, jalapeno, onion, garlic, salt and the juice from the lime into your blender. Use those scissors in your knife block that you have never used, and cut up the cilantro into 0.5" pieces as you add it into the mixture. Blend at lowest setting. You don't want to puree the salsa, you just want to chop it up and mix everything together.

28 January 2008

Maybe I Could Be a Switch Hitter

All I can say is the portion about 3/4 of the way through the video where the camera is focused on Fergie is almost enough to make me straight. She is sooooo sexy.

Black Eyed Peas featuring Sergio Mendes, Mas Que Nada

27 January 2008

The Cleanse - Day 1

In my pursuit to be a healthier me, I'm going on a cleanse. In a nutshell, it's a program to clean all the toxins out of your body and reprogram your eating habits so that you eat better. There is fruit/protein/flax oil/nutrient shake that you eat twice per day, a bunch of herbal supplements that you take three times per day to purge the junk out of your body, and then for food you eat vegetables and fruits. And, each day that you are good and go to the gym and sweat for an hour, you get 6 oz. of chicken/turkey/fish to eat. You do this for three weeks, and then in the fourth week you add healthy grains and lean meats back into your diet.

A friend of mine has done this a few times and swears by it. The doctor that administers the program has done it yearly for something like 17 years. He is nearly 50 years old, but looks like he's 30. He's a walking billboard for this body cleanse.

Anyway, I just wanted to try something different to try and become healthier this year. I saw that my friend had great success doing the program, so I thought I would give the whole "natural foods" thing a shot.

I figured that I would write about the cleanse periodically, just so I could have a record of the thing and to hopefully provide some entertainment for everyone else. I also wanted to keep track of any dishes that I invent. I probably won't post about it every day, but just enough to keep me going on it. So here we go:

I'M GOING TO DIE!!!!! Just kidding. Today has been great. Actually, it starts yesterday when I went shopping for food so that I could actually survive this thing. I filled my fridge with food. I did prep work on snacks (pineapple & jicama), so that when I need to satisfy a craving I can do it right away. I cleared all of the non-edible crap out of the fridge so I wouldn't be tempted.

I did my shakes today, and started tinkering with some cooking. My main veggies to eat at dinnertime are asparagus, brussel sprouts, and kale. I started out with inventing something tastey to do with the brussle sprouts (which usually taste like crap whenever you've eaten them in your life). I came up with a delicious dish that serves 1. Although, it's important to note that I had my second protein shake just about 1.5 hours before I cooked this. So, if this is eaten long after a shake, the amount of veggies may need to be increased. I call it BS Surprise:

5 brussel sprouts, washed and cut in quarters
1/4 cup sliced mushrooms
1/4 cup sliced bell pepper (any color)
Sea Salt
Lemon Pepper
Olive Oil
Balsamic Vinegar (to taste)
Red Pepper Flakes (to taste)

Sautee the brussel sprouts in olive oil until they start to soften, then toss in the other veggies, vinegar and spices. Vary the amount of vinegar according to the strength you like. Vary the amount of red pepper flakes according to how spicey you like your food.

That's it. Super simple. Takes only a few minutes to make. And it's delicious and perfectly healthy to eat. Ask me two weeks from now if I still think this tastes good. :P

24 January 2008

Rock of Ages

When people my age and slightly older read the title of this post, most likely the first thing that came to mind was the Def Leppard song off of the Pyromania album. This post is not about that song.

Others of you may have thought about the Hymn as contained in the LDS Hymnal - published as number 111. This post is about that one.

It's actually about the text of that song, not the music. The original poem by Augustus Montague Toplady has four verses in it. The LDS hymnal omits the third verse, which is not my favorite verse anyway so I'm okay with that. The other interesting thing about the LDS version is that in the last verse some of the words are different from what I found to be in the original version of the text. I think that those changes make the prose so much better. I couldn't find any information on those changes, so I'm not going to get into the why's and how's of that. The poem was written in the mid-1700's and set to music in the 1800's by Thomas Hastings.

I've never been a superfan of the music of this hymn, and as such I have never really paid attention to the words as I have sung it. But as luck would have it, we are singing this song in the local Mormon choir (of an earlier post) for our Easter concert. The beauty of it all is that it's an arrangement of the song that is completely different from the tune in the hymn. It took a couple of practices to get the old tune out of my head as we were singing and just let the new tune flow.

As we were practicing tonight, the director called our attention to the lyrics in the last verse and talked about how poignant they were. I took the opportunity to read over them and think about them, and now I have a new found love for the song. The words are beautiful.

While I draw this fleeting breath,
When mine eyes shall close in death,
When I rise to worlds unknown
And behold thee on thy throne,
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in thee.

There really is nothing more important in this life than coming to know Jesus Christ. We are all mortal and will one day pass through the veil into His presence. We will behold Him on His throne. And at that point, will we want to hide ourselves in Him, or hide ourselves from Him?

21 January 2008

Search Engine Stats

I love to see what kind of web searches point people to my blog. Here's the latest list. The first number is the number of searches using that term, the % is percent of total searches that the term is used, and then of course there is the term used.

Who knew that the invention of "Dengay Fever" while in Guatemala would increase the traffic flow to my little corner of the web? :P

9 19.15% dengay fever
5 10.64% mymormonjourney
4 8.51% reasons to vote for mitt romney
2 4.26% overcoming loneliness lds thoughts
2 4.26% blue shirt green tie
1 2.13% what shirt to wear with green tie?
1 2.13% writers overcoming loneliness
1 2.13% wicked musical homosexuality
1 2.13% living the emotional immaturity
1 2.13% loneliness as depression lds teachings
1 2.13% green tie gay
1 2.13% http://mymormonjourney.blogspot.com/
1 2.13% itertron
1 2.13% the mohos
1 2.13% emotional unattractive
1 2.13% hope for loneliness
1 2.13% lds mid singles wards
1 2.13% reasons to vote for mitt
1 2.13% single overcoming loneliness
1 2.13% shirt and tie makeover
1 2.13% funny top ten reasons why mitt romney should be president
1 2.13% deep emotional ties with people
1 2.13% today horoscope
1 2.13% overcoming emotional immaturity
1 2.13% ten reasons to vote for mitt romney
1 2.13% gay loneliness site:blogspot.com
1 2.13% gay guy with green tie
1 2.13% 10 reasons to vote for mitt
1 2.13% mormon- the pride talk
1 2.13% black suit blue shirt green tie

The Dilemma

Here's the problem - as has been discussed in the past, I am only a partially competent gay man. The artistic talents that are typically associated with gay men were only partially allotted to me. I'm speaking specifically of my "ok" ability to decorate my home. It's not that I can't decorate it, it's just that I have this, um, problem...

The problem I have with decorating my home is that I am waaaaay too cheap. I can walk into the stores, see something that would be nice to sit/eat/lie/whatever on, but I can never make myself purchase it. I always decide that I will live with what I have "for now." Unfortunately, "for now" ends up being respelled as "forever."

I purchased my condo six years ago, just when the housing boom in Southern California was beginning to explode and things were still reasonably affordable. I was dirt poor after I bought it, so I didn't have any money to decorate with. I bought cheap, crappy furniture with the intent of replacing it at a later date. Well, as time wore on I figured that I wouldn't bother with buying new furnishings for the condo because, well, someday I would get married and the wife would throw out all my stuff. So, why waste money? That's where the cheapness comes in. Now here we are, six years later, and I still have the crappy furniture that I first bought when I moved in. I still have the crappy appliances in the kitchen. I still have the hand-me-down mattress that my friends gave to me when they turned their guest room into a nursery. I still have the bloody $50 card table as my dining table. Six years and my place still looks like a college-aged bachelor's apartment.

Now, it's not without the good stuff. I do have my drum set, guitars, keyboard, the big tv all trying hard to put on a good show. And they do a good job of being beautiful. They just don't cover up the fact that I have an old grandma couch.

Anyway, so I've decided to sink some money into sprucing up the place. New furniture. Dining room table. New stainless steel kitchen appliances. Paint the kitchen/living rooms. I've planned a fairly extensive effort to make this place look nice. The only problem is that I still have the cheapness in me, and I'm afraid that it will interfere with the place ending up the way it should.

Damn my sensible, straight-man attributes!

20 January 2008


Once. I can't believe that I didn't watch this movie when it came out. It was by far the best movie that 2007 produced. It came out on DVD recently and I watched it last night. It was stunning.

As a music nut, with a special love of singer/songwriter style music, I was absolutely floored by the music in this film. It's a story about a wannabe musician busking on the streets of Dublin, who meets a girl, records his first album, and falls in love in the process. It also has an interesting, untypical twist at the end.

It was a super low budget film, so the picture quality is very indie. But I think that makes the movie all that much better. It shows the true grittiness of the lower-class kind of life that the characters live. The story was beautiful. The music was raw and passionate. I can't praise this film enough.

It's rated R for good, old-fashiond Irish language.

Go rent it tonight.

17 January 2008

Take Your Momma Out

I learned the chords and (most of) the words to this song the other day. Next time I'm up in Utah visiting all you guys, I'll put on a show. Though, it probably won't be as good as the one in the video because I don't have the rooster costume that the singer is wearing.

Gotta love the Scissor Sisters.

15 January 2008

Strange Sighting

No, I didn't see a UFO, but I did see this on the back of a car at lunch and took a picture of it with my handy dandy camera phone. It's a little hard to see because of the sun glare, but notice that there are two male (Evan and Ben) and two dog stickers. Usually you see stickers for dad, mom, child 1, child 2, and if you're in Utah, children 3 through 17. I was curious as to why just the two male stickers on there. And, as luck would have it, I had some time to kill at work and came up with a few possible explanations as to why there was no mom sticker:

1) The obvious first one is that the car is owned by a gay couple with dogs.

2) They are brothers who are clones of other people and therefore have no parents.

3) The dogs ate the parents.

4) The brothers are orphans.

5) The dogs are the parents.

6) The parents are too embarrassed to admit that those two demon children are actually theirs, and won't put their names down.

Any other thoughts from the masses out there?

14 January 2008


Not to be confused with foolishness.

I was just thinking that we totally missed the boat in cool words. Remember when spelling f-words (not the f-word, but words in general that begin with the letter f) with "ph" was the in thing? Like phat, phool and physics - oh wait, I think that last one wasn't spelled with an f. Anyway, we could have called ourselves "phags". Then it would have been really cool to be gay.

Sigh. Always a day late and a dollar short. Oh well. We'll have to settle for Queer Eye and Ellen to make us cool. Of course, now that I think about it, is Queer Eye even cool anymore? It's been so long since I've even attempted to watch it. The blond guy annoyed the crap out of me and nearly made me straight.

Geez. What is gay and cool these days? I'm so out of pop culture right now.

Burying The Sword

I was chatting with a friend the other day about some difficulties he is going through right now. He let me know that on the bright side of it all, he had read his scriptures that day (the first time in quite a while I think). I asked him what he read, and his response was the section in the Book of Mormon where the Anti-Nephi-Lehies bury their swords and make a covenant never to shed blood again, not even to defend themselves.

My response to him was, "So what sword are you going to bury?"

Interesting. I had never thought of that analogy before that very moment. I have always read this passage of scripture and taken it at face value - that of being a peacemaker and refusing to take up arms and shed blood. But at that very moment, I thought of how symbolic that story could be.

Here were these people who were the worst of the worst for being iniquitous and bloodthirsty. They were all converted to the Lord, and would not "take up arms against their brethren," (Alma 24:6) who were at that moment preparing to come to war against them. Lamoni was their king, and even commanded them not to prepare for the ensuing war. They had been in a fallen state and through much travail had received the light of redemption. They felt those sweet whisperings of peace that confirm your forgiveness from sin and transgression. They felt the love of God - which "is the most desirable above all things" (1 Ne. 11:22). They knew what God's love was and it flooded their souls to the point that they felt it for every other person and would not raise the sword against them. They saw what the greatest sin was in their previous lives and buried it in the earth - even if it were to cost them their own lives.

I think that this embodies the whole concept of forsaking your sins when you repent. You take that thing that has been such a major tool in your life, a major part of your person, and realize that sword is not glorious. It is destroying not only those who are slain with it, but also he who wields it. To forsake it, to receive forgiveness, it must be buried deep within the earth, never to be used again. It can't be just put away in the closet, or stashed under a rug. A pit must be dug to completely consume the rusting appendage and remove it completely from your life.

These people opened up their hearts to the message of the gospel, the felt God's love, and they buried their swords. And who can deny that they all returned to the presence of God and were able to look upon Him, without shame, when reporting on their life's deeds.

So, to quote the great movie, The Princess Bride, Drop your sword.

13 January 2008

My First Time and Other Random Happenings

My First Time

Well, I finally did it. I had my first experience. It was a lot more painful than I thought it would be. You guessed it, I had the very first migraine of my life this week. It was the worst experience I think I've ever had. I'd rather lie in the road and have trucks drive over my head than experience another one of those.

Seriously, who came up with the idea for people to have migraines? I don't like it at all. If I was given the choice of giving up being gay or giving up migraines, I wouldn't think twice about my answer. I'd much rather be a headache-free gay Mormon than a migraine-ridden stupid straight guy. Ugh. Pass the Midol.


I made good on my New Years resolution to be more proactively social. What many of you younger peeps will find out is that the longer you stay single, the more your social circle shrinks. Of course married people have no social circles, but they get all the action they want so they don't need social circles. :P

Anyway, so the group of people that I've hung with for the last year or two seems to have disbanded. A few have/are moving, a few are dating, and others I just don't have as much in common with them anymore. So on Friday night I was scrolling through my phone numbers list in the old cell phone, and went through the entire thing without calling any of the old group. I found myself with no one to go out with. So, I took a chance and called a guy that I know, but have never really hung out with. I asked him if he knew of anything fun going on, and before I knew it I was eating dinner at Rubio's with about 15 other people and then we went bowling at the most non-trashy bowling alley I've ever been to. They had a digital show of local artists projected on the walls above the lanes, live DJ, crazy lighting, etc. Good times. Good times. I need to call that guy more often.

Weekend Birthday Dinner

I went to dinner last night with a group of friends to celebrate my entrance into the world. We ate at BJ's. The food was great - nothing like pizza and a pizookie to fatten you up. The company was better. Good times were had by all. I love that I'm popular at least one day out of the year. :)

Life In General, Excluding the Fun Time on Friday/Saturday Nights

Ever have one of those weeks where you do really great all week and then screw it up at the very end? Yeah. I had one of those.

10 January 2008

Today's Horoscope

Here was my horoscope today:

A major transition is coming into your life today, but you'll only benefit if you welcome it. Try to surround yourself with creative, romantic people who see life as more than just dollars and material goods. Open up your ideas about what happiness means. A successful life has nothing to do with your bank account. A door is opening, and while it might not lead you to riches, it will lead you to contentment. It's up to you to decide which is more valuable.

I've been waiting for this to happen all day, and so far the only transition I have had is from good health to a massively pounding headache. I don't think that will lead me to contentment, unless of course I go home and take some codeine for it. Then I will be super-content.

08 January 2008

The Intertron

I'm trying to start a trend where everyone in the world stops calling this place the internet and starts to call it by my term, the intertron.

Anyway, one of the beauties/horrifying realities of the intertron is that there is absolutely no such thing as anonymity. Fortunately for most people, I'm not savvy enough with the intertron to do much to abuse your lack of anonymity. But, I do know how to use a stat tracker for my blog. And, I have to say, somebody from Newport Beach reads my blog on a regular basis after visiting Northern Lights. Newport is 15 minutes from where I reside.

So Mr. Newport Beach, don't be scared to introduce yourself to me. There are a couple of us Mohos in So Cal that hang out in a very nice, churchy-supportive manner. You're more than welcome to join the troupe.

07 January 2008

One Fitty

It's the sesquicen...
er, sasquatch...
er, one hundred and fiftieth post of my blogging career.

I'm not sure if it really counts as 150 though, because not all of my posts are published. Without taking the time to count, I'd wager that there are about 15-20 posts that I've only clicked the "Save Now" button and not the "Publish Post" button. This is mostly due to the fact that sometimes I forget how to read, so I have to guess which button I'm pushing. Now, I'm sure that your solution would be for me to just remember to push the orange button to post, but I also suffer from frequent bouts of a fear of seeing Cheetos in a tub of blue airplane lavatory water being consumed by a Denver Broncos fan. So I obviously cannot rely on orange and blue.

I have decided to dedicate this 150th post to my incredible awesomeness:

Awesomeness in personality and sense of humor (and no, I'm not referring to the recent conversation with some friends about girls naming their boobs, in particular the one who named hers Personality and Senseofhumor).

Awesomeness in looks (have you seen me lately? I look good. I mean real good. Hey everybody! Come and see how good I look!).

Awesomeness in driving ability (I seriously don't know how I get to work so much faster than everyone else in So Cal).

Awesomeness in scent (I reek of sexuality, and cheese-fries).

Awesomeness in coin-operated laundry skills (That one is pretty self-explanatory).

Awesomeness in humility (Need I say more? Nay).

Awesomeness in my ability to waste fill time at work with productive activities.

The list could go on and on, much like zooming in on a Mandelbrot Fractal.

05 January 2008

Blatant Nerdism

I proved myself a nerd today (not that it really needed proving). I received this cryptic text message from my brother:

Hey engineer, what's the mathematical sequence that when graphed out it looks like a bug and it's infinite?

I thought for a second, trying to decipher what the crap he was asking, and suddenly realized the answer:

Mandelbrot Fractal

It was exactly what he was looking for.

That's why they pay me the big bucks.

04 January 2008

Here We Go Again

Well, it's a brand new year. 2007 is gone, and we've already hit the road running in 2008.

Every year I create a new mantra that has something to do with finding a spouse that year. A marriage mantra, if you will. A few that I can remember from the past are "Say I Do in 2002", "Single no more in 2004", and "Getting some sex in 2006". Yeah, I know that last one doesn't rhyme as well, but it was still worthy. Last year's mantra was "The next step to Heaven in 2007". Well, things didn't quite go as planned in said mantra. Instead of finding a person of the female persuasion to court and marry (sorry, I just threw up a little bit in my mouth) I instead nearly exploded from burying my gayness for so many years. I came out to my family (my mom came out to several of my aunts and uncles for me, how sweet). I wrecked a friendship with a gay guy I worked with. I had a brief fling with a fellow Moho blogger. And, it all basically went downhill from there. I pretty much nose-dived (or is it nose-dove?) into the bottom of the hill. Crash. Burn. Blood. Carnage. The second half of the year was a mess.

I've blogged about a lot that has gone on with me over this last year, but I've kept the majority portion of it to myself. It's far too personal - especially since so many of you know me quite well. I don't particularly like broadcasting all of the craziness in my life to everybody out there. I do want to keep some measure of dignity, believe it or not.

Anyhoo, I am a very different person than who I was last year. It's kind of surprising to me. Now I'm starting out 2008 freely admitting the reason why I've remained single, and I'm wondering about this year's mantra. Should it be marriage-based again? Or, should it be focused on something that seems a little more acheivable, so that I can actually follow through with it?

Is it "Find a mate in 2008", or is it "Gay and great in 2008"?