The Dilemma

Here's the problem - as has been discussed in the past, I am only a partially competent gay man. The artistic talents that are typically associated with gay men were only partially allotted to me. I'm speaking specifically of my "ok" ability to decorate my home. It's not that I can't decorate it, it's just that I have this, um, problem...

The problem I have with decorating my home is that I am waaaaay too cheap. I can walk into the stores, see something that would be nice to sit/eat/lie/whatever on, but I can never make myself purchase it. I always decide that I will live with what I have "for now." Unfortunately, "for now" ends up being respelled as "forever."

I purchased my condo six years ago, just when the housing boom in Southern California was beginning to explode and things were still reasonably affordable. I was dirt poor after I bought it, so I didn't have any money to decorate with. I bought cheap, crappy furniture with the intent of replacing it at a later date. Well, as time wore on I figured that I wouldn't bother with buying new furnishings for the condo because, well, someday I would get married and the wife would throw out all my stuff. So, why waste money? That's where the cheapness comes in. Now here we are, six years later, and I still have the crappy furniture that I first bought when I moved in. I still have the crappy appliances in the kitchen. I still have the hand-me-down mattress that my friends gave to me when they turned their guest room into a nursery. I still have the bloody $50 card table as my dining table. Six years and my place still looks like a college-aged bachelor's apartment.

Now, it's not without the good stuff. I do have my drum set, guitars, keyboard, the big tv all trying hard to put on a good show. And they do a good job of being beautiful. They just don't cover up the fact that I have an old grandma couch.

Anyway, so I've decided to sink some money into sprucing up the place. New furniture. Dining room table. New stainless steel kitchen appliances. Paint the kitchen/living rooms. I've planned a fairly extensive effort to make this place look nice. The only problem is that I still have the cheapness in me, and I'm afraid that it will interfere with the place ending up the way it should.

Damn my sensible, straight-man attributes!