26 November 2007

Google Keywords

My new favorite search string that lead someone to my blog:

"i have girl hips"

Dengue Fever

So, as many of you know, I went on vacation to explore Guatemala with a couple other Mohos: AtP, John, and Isakson. One of the amazing tropical illnesses that you can contract while in the jungle areas of Guatemala is Dengue Fever. While on our little trip, we discovered a rare strain of the disease which is pronounced the same but spelled differently: Dengay Fever.

Dengay Fever is the unique condition when you find yourself in a foreign country where you don't see nearly as many attractive guys as you do in the states. The severe lack of eye candy leads you to dellusional attractions to guys that you would normally pass off as nothing more than cannon fodder for the fat chicks in your ward. As the disease spreads through you, you find more and more of these "not-so's" more and more attractive, until your judgement of what is hot and what is not is completely distorted and skewed.

All four of us contracted this disease to varying degrees while down there. It was terrible. The positive aspect is that none of us contracted Dengay to the point where we were looking at the fugly people with a gleam in our eye - but we were definitely questioning our abilities at spotting true hotties.

The disease is going away for me. I put forth a good effort at oogling at the hot, shirtless surfers changing into their wetsuits as I drove downtown yesterday and while I drove to church today. I'm still not sure that I'm 100% cured from it. Only time will tell.

Pray for all four of us.

06 November 2007

Hello pot, I'm kettle

So, one thing I complain about more and more is people making slurs about "gay" around me. These are people that I am not out to, and when they make reference to something that they don't like as being "gay" it kind of stabs me on the inside. It makes me mad, and I dislike them a little more every time I hear it. I think to myself of what a terrible person they are for not being tolerant of other people. Blah, blah, blah.

I'm a hypocrite.

Today at work, I was reviewing some documents with a coworker. He has two mentally disabled children. While reviewing the document it became apparent that the person who wrote it probably should not have been in charge of writing it - there was some really lame stuff written in it. I made the comment, "The person who wrote this is completely retarded." Yeah. I used the "retarded" slur in front of someone who has two retarded children.

Three hours later when I realized what I had done, I felt like an ass.