08 March 2007

So maybe this isn't so bad

Sometimes I get an attitude. I get kind of a high and mighty my-problems-are-superior-to-yours kind of attitude, although I can never really say that to people without coming out. For a very long time I have believed that SSA mixed with faithful Mormondom is the worst possible trial that anyone could face while here on this planet.

I have been proven wrong.

I went to lunch with some coworkers the other day. While we were sitting there eating a man and a woman came in to have lunch. She went right to a table, he went to the counter and ordered their food. He brought it back and laid it out before her so she could eat it. He was very helpful, kind and gentle. She was in a wheelchair and had no limbs to speak of. The only limb she had was an 8 inch stub for a left arm. She used that on the controller of the electric wheelchair she was in. She had to lean over and peck at her food like a bird in order to eat it. I was awe struck. I have always been fascinated with the various ways the physically handicapped learn to cope with their disabilities. In fact, I used to do volunteer work at a rehabilitation engineering center here locally. I have such respect for the disabled who go on with their lives in spite of the difficulties.

Then it hit me. I had finally found someone I could look at and honestly say, "Wow. I am so glad that I deal with the struggles that I do rather than have your struggles." It was incredibly humbling. I am greatful that my lot in life was not to have a physical deformity like that. I think of my own yearnings for love and physical intimacy and realize that she has the same ones. I think that my chances for finding a girl and marrying her are far greater than this person's chances for finding someone in this life. Amazing. Absolutely amazing.

So, life isn't so bad today.


drex said...

(hope you don't mind random comments from random people that surfed on in)

It's amazing to me sometimes how tailor-made our trials are. There are so many people whose lots in life I would never be able to deal with, yet those same people are just as apt to say that they'd never want to deal with my trials given the chance. Sometimes I feel so weak standing up to the things I face, but then I realize that I really am strong enough to stick with it. It's an invigorating feeling, when it comes.

Distinguishing Preoccupation said...

I hear you. I've thought about this recently too. I more recently have come to the realization as to what this trial I face has done for me and I know that I wouldn't be the man I am today were it not for all the trials that have shaped my character. I was praying yesterday and again I really felt so strongly that it is my privilage to bear this in my life and I am so glad to be me. It's been years in the making for me to reach this place. There was a time when I believed that God would never want me to be satisfied with the life I have and the trial I bear, but that was indeed his master plan all along. I feel more connected to God because of my trial and more at peace with everything now than I ever have in my life. I really like your blog. Feel free to email me caspiandreams@gmail.com


John said...

Isaac and I were talking about this. It really is an interesting issue of pride... thinking that our trial makes us inherently superior to those who are dealing with "lesser" trials. It has made it hard for me during church... I become bitter and can't appreciate other people's testimonies or comments. It's something I've been working on... this last Sunday was a bit better. I also am reminded of President Hinckley's comment about callings and how my calling is as important and necessary in my sphere as his is in his sphere. I think it applies the same way to trials... they are as hard for others in their situation as mine are for me in my situation.

In other news... I am one step closer to those surfing lessons (I actually have a board but I haven't used it in probably 10 years). I got on the waiting list at a law school in LA. So keep your fingers crossed.