Ever have one of *those* Sunday's? You know the type I'm talking about. It should be great. The sun is shining. You had a good day with friends on Saturday. You get up early enough to actually make it to church on time. And in spite of all of the things going for you, you just aren't feeling it during church.
I wanted to feel the Spirit today, but I can't say that I was very successful. I should have felt the Spirit throughout testimony meeting. There were some really good ones that touched a lot of people. But not me. Not today. Instead, I had an angry devil inside of my head, and these were the reactions inside of my head to a few of the testimonies:
1) Give me a break. So what that you've been sick for a month. Big f-ing deal! Try having my disease for your entire freaking life!
2) Oh! So you met some homeless person and felt sorry for her? And in your conversation you found out that she chooses to live that way? She doesn't want any help? She doesn't want to change? Well, lah-dee-freaking-dah! I didn't choose to have SSA. I would welcome change, but it's not going to happen!
3) Really? I just have to get married? Gee! I never thought of getting married! How could I be so dumb?! Of course that's why I have the problems I do and your life is endless bliss. You are so f-ing wise! Please live my life for me!
The cynicism really got the best of me today. I hate that. I wasted a perfectly good Sunday where I could have felt the Spirit and been recharged for the week. But, for some reason, something wasn't working right in the old cranium today.
I hate wasting a good Sunday.