26 March 2007

One of *those* Sundays

Ever have one of *those* Sunday's? You know the type I'm talking about. It should be great. The sun is shining. You had a good day with friends on Saturday. You get up early enough to actually make it to church on time. And in spite of all of the things going for you, you just aren't feeling it during church.

I wanted to feel the Spirit today, but I can't say that I was very successful. I should have felt the Spirit throughout testimony meeting. There were some really good ones that touched a lot of people. But not me. Not today. Instead, I had an angry devil inside of my head, and these were the reactions inside of my head to a few of the testimonies:

1) Give me a break. So what that you've been sick for a month. Big f-ing deal! Try having my disease for your entire freaking life!

2) Oh! So you met some homeless person and felt sorry for her? And in your conversation you found out that she chooses to live that way? She doesn't want any help? She doesn't want to change? Well, lah-dee-freaking-dah! I didn't choose to have SSA. I would welcome change, but it's not going to happen!

3) Really? I just have to get married? Gee! I never thought of getting married! How could I be so dumb?! Of course that's why I have the problems I do and your life is endless bliss. You are so f-ing wise! Please live my life for me!

The cynicism really got the best of me today. I hate that. I wasted a perfectly good Sunday where I could have felt the Spirit and been recharged for the week. But, for some reason, something wasn't working right in the old cranium today.

I hate wasting a good Sunday.


Kengo Biddles said...

Our ward's doing F&T the week after conference...and I dread it. I dread it every month. I already have a hard time staying past the sacrament...and F&T make it hard to get out of bed. I need an attitude adjustment. Care to smake me upside the head?

Mormon Enigma said...

Ever have one of *those* Sunday's?

Yes, I've had *those* kinds of Sunday's. But, at least you recognize that it was you and are not trying to place the blame on someone or something else.

BTW, your post triggered a memory of mine. When I joined the church, I was away at college. As it turned out, I always went home the first Sunday of the month, so I never attended a Fast & Testimony meeting for the first few months I was a member. In fact, I hadn't even heard about it. It wasn't until I finished the school year and went home for the summer. My very first time going to the ward near my parents home was a Fast & Testimony meeting - the first I had ever attended. It really freaked me out. I remember coming home from church thinking "wow, the Mormon church here is nothing like it was at school - it's really weird." I was even starting to think that I might not continue going if that is what all of their Sacrament meetings were like.

drex said...

I think we've all had Sundays like that. I just try to think that what they're saying is probably touching one person in the congregation, and maybe that person isn't supposed to be me. It doesn't alleviate the boredom or incredulity at some of the things they say, but it helps account for the utter lack of Spirit some of the time.

Luckily sometimes there are those other kinds of Sundays where it seems like everything's being spoken directly to me, for better or for worse. It just takes a while to balance out.

playasinmar said...

Brother Johansen says God fixed his prostate,
Sister Heel wails that her son's gone apostate,
Missey Brown details her trip to Belize,
These are a few of the testimonies,


agirlwho said...

Oh, I think we had the same Sunday. I skipped Sunday school because I just couldn't handle the teacher again. Oh, and the song playasinmar mentioned is FUNNY!

Danish Boy said...

You know what? I almost had the exact same Sunday you had. I felt so tired from the drain of the week and I thought this is going to be good but when I got to church I guess my thoughts changed a little. I really didn't want to stay I just needed to get out. For some odd reason I did stay and you know I eventually changed my mind. I can't even pin down what happened. I guess If I start to have a bad day I try to count my blessings. It can be extremely hard and sometimes almost impossible when I get stuck in a weird funk but the difference it can make is night and day. Have a great day tomorrow!!