Happy Tears

Today I was the substitute pianist in primary. I love playing piano for all the little kids at church. First of all, they don't know if you've messed up, so it doesn't matter if I've never played the song before and hit a few sour notes. Mostly, I just love their innocence and the simplicity with which the teachers share the gospel with them.

Today they were talking about how Jesus interacted with little children when he was on the earth. How much he loved and adored them. The time that he spent with them. They talked about the children in Israel during His mortal ministry, and then they talked about the children in the Americas after His resurrection. The teacher read these verses from the Book of Mormon:

And they arose from the earth, and he said unto them: Blessed are ye because of your faith. And now behold, my joy is full.

And when he had said these words, he wept, and the multitude bare record of it, and he took their little children, one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them.

And when he had done this he wept again;

3 Nephi 17:20-22

The teacher asked the children why Jesus was crying, and one of the little kids responded, "They were happy tears!" So we learned about how sometimes people cry, not because they are sad, but because they are so happy.

Today I kind of felt like crying. This time of the year is always the hardest for me. I'm alone again for Christmas, and my 35th birthday is 3 weeks after Christmas. It's the worst time of the year to see so many of my married siblings, friends, and everyone else for that matter, with their families, enjoying each other and loving each other. They have their children. They feel the joys of parenthood that I long for. My soul aches. And I want to cry sad tears.

But today, something happened at church. Our bishop gave a talk in sacrament meeting about how much the Savior loves us. How much He knows us individually and the trials we have in our lives. And how He is always there for us, no matter how far from the path we stray. His arms are always outstretched and will always welcome us home. He paid the price for our mistakes, for our errors, for our transgressions. All we have to do is belive and follow Him.

As I sat there listening to what the bishop was saying - things that I have heard a thousand times before - I felt the Spirit inside of me. I felt the warmth and caress of the Savior's hands on me. I felt His love for me. And my sad tears turned into happy tears.