15 March 2008

Hanging Out With Straight Guys

Yuck. What more can I say?

Ok, ok. I will say more. Tonight I hung out with a bunch of straight guys. It almost became painful towards the end of the evening. No, I take that back. It did become painful towards the end of the evening.

Last night I hung out with the other moho in Orange County (maybe I should just refer to him as OMIOC from now on). Good, enjoyable evening. Tonight I hang out with straight guys. Blegh.

Background info:
Recently I've been trying to expand my circle of friends. Most of the people I used to hang out with last year are either married, in relationships, or we're not on the best of terms anymore. So, that leaves me with few options for social activities on the weekends.

The other aspect of expanding my circle of friends has been to avoid expanding that circle amongst the females in my ward. I'm trying to get more guy friends to hang out with so that I can do guy stuff. I'm actually kind of sick of hanging out with the girls all the time.

So this afternoon my business partner came over to work on some stuff with me. There was also a guy from the ward that came over to my place because he wants us to do a job for him. The three of us got together at about 4:30. We spent a few hours doing business stuff, and then we decided to go get some dinner. At that point, my business partner's roomie called up to see if anything was going on tonight, so he ended up going to dinner with us.

Here I am with 3 guys. Straight guys. Nothing moho about them whatsoever. Two of them (my business partner and his roomie) I know fairly well. The third is someone that I inteded to try to become better friends with. Well, in a nutshell, I think I'd rather die than hang out with all three of them at the same time again.

It was painful by the end of the night. And it's not like we didn't have common interests that we could talk about. There were a few good topics. But in general it was just obnoxious being around straight guy talk for sooooo long. I can't even list out the topics of conversation that came up, oh wait, I can: chicks. That's the problem with hanging out with straight, single guys. I have to sit there and feign my interest in girl parts all night. Of course, if they were straight and married, then they would just talk about sports. I'm not sure which topic is worse.

I need to find some different straight guys to try this out with.


Original Mohomie said...

I don't mean to thumb my nose or call you a bad straight-guy-finder, but I have straight guy friends who rarely, if ever, talk about sports, and who may talk about girls, but it's certainly not the only topic we discuss, and when they talk about girls, I'll talk about girls or guys with them, so we're even. :-)

I mean, part of the reason a lot of straight people have trouble hanging out with mohos is that we only talk about our pet topics, too, like boys, America's Next Top Model, hot Dolce & Gabbana ads, self pity, that sort of thing. So let this be motivation not to put people in the same uncomfortable situation of feeling unable to connect on any meaningful level. :-)

But yes, I know what you mean. It's draining to debate, the whole time, whether to just tell them you prefer a hot, chiseled male to a slender, curvacious female or whether to just let them think you're a eunuch. But there are other straighties out there who are more well-rounded.

And to be honest, I think there are a lot of straighties who are actually relieved when they feel comfortable discussing other things with their guy friends. There are plenty of SSGs out there who seem content with little real personal connection, but there are also many who actually want friendship in which they can share more of themselves and their ideas with their guy friends. I've had a few straight-guy friends express how much they appreciate the nature of our friendship.

So go forth, identify the non-SSG straighties, befriend them. Good luck!

One of So Many said...

They straight guys that you want are a very rare breed. I have some luck in being able to have a few of those "weird ones" that I can talk about things other than the female anatomy.

Hell I can talk to my best friend about my attraction for him and not make him feel TOO uncomfortable ;).

It's good though that you are willing to try and make new friends. I can't say I've done that for a while. Most of my friends are coming up on or have exceeded a decade that I've known them.

Keep looking and praying...you will eventually find what you seek.

Abelard Enigma said...

I need to find some different straight guys to try this out with.

Good luck with that :)

Girls, sports, politics, their kids (when they are married and young) and (when they get older) their latest colonoscopy - that about sums up the straight guy interest level.

Original Mohomie said...

Another interjection: I'd propose that straight guys who like talking about more than sports, politics, and women are at least as easy to find as gay guys who like talking about more than pop culture gossip, men, and themselves. Seriously.

Michael said...

I'm sorry! I know what it is like hanging out with SSG's a lot, and sometimes it can get really frustrating. It's hard when you don't share the same interests, but like others have said that may be more the particular people than the fact that they're straight.

Interestingly enough, I often feel similar feelings hanging out with my MoHo friends, because I don't have a lot of the typical interests (like America's next top model, Dancing with the Stars, Brittney Spears, etc.). I think it goes both ways.

[kɹeɪ̯g̊] said...

You could always not pretend to be straight...

Just a thought.

Max Power said...

I don't think I pretend to be straight. There are plenty of straight guy things that I thoroughly enjoy. For example, I could talk about cars, guns, the outdoors, video games, and rock and roll for hours. I want to have straight guy friends to do straight guy stuff with.

I just don't make it a point of conversation to shove it everyone's faces that I'm gay. If they are being homophobic, then I'll call them out on it, but if the conversation isn't going in that direction I'm not going to take it there.

I don't want people to feel like they have to walk on eggshells around me. That would drive me nuts if people didn't feel comfortable enough to act like themselves when they are around me.

D-Train said...

Kevin, thanks for the words of encouragement. I read some of your postings and feel like finally I can relate to somebody. It was nice to read about a gay Latter-day Saint who is open about the struggles that you face, while keeping your eye on the ultimate goal. It's also good to know that there are other active gay Latter-day Saints in the area. I am still in the beginning phases of the whole coming-out process, and hope that your experiences can give me some insights into this uncharted territory. Best of luck to you.


Kengo Biddles said...

Max, you just need to find straight guys that are less sports-and-boobs. Make friends with Frasier types, and you won't get as much painful straight-guy conversation. That's what I've done.

Max Power said...

Make friends with Frasier types, and you won't get as much painful straight-guy conversation.

Yeah, but Niles turned out to be gay in real life... :P

Josh said...

Most of my roommates are the type that aren't annoying to hang out with. I guess I am lucky.

uncle arthur said...

You oughtta try going to an Elders Quorum Pot Luck Dinner,where you are the only one who is not married,and the evening is spent talking about football jokes!!!
No,wait-I guess you already know what I mean!

Max Power said...


American football or soccer? :P

Welcome to my blog.

uncle arthur said...

Australian Rules Football!!
Yes,I am down under.