18 March 2008

Coming Out to a Few More Peeps

Within the last couple of weeks I've come out to two more people. It's important to note these particular instances, because this time they were straight guys. I've been a little gun-shy to talk to the straight guys, just because, well, it's awkward. Or rather, I don't want them to be awkward around me. I want to be treated the same way I always have and converse with them in the same manner, but just with a deeper level of understanding between the each of us. Catch my drift?

So, the first guy I came out to was my old friend Geoff. I wrote an angsty, angry post about him many moons ago. Yikes. Anyway, so he called me a few weeks ago, and we played phone tag for a while. I ended up just sending him an email, and decided that I was going to come out to him. So I did, and pointed him to my blog and told him to have great time catching up on my life. Well, it just so happens that I had forgotten about the angry post I wrote about him. Awkward! He emailed me back a while later and told me that he had read that post - along with the majority of my blog - and was floored by everything.

We ended up chatting on the phone this past Sunday for a couple of hours. It was so wonderful to talk to him again. And it was even more wonderful to have my emotions in the right place. I love the guy like one of my brothers. And, now that I have a lot more emotional stability in my life, I'm okay with just having the occasional catch-up conversation with him. It feels really good. By the way, welcome to my blog, Geoff. Good luck with the new baby. And I still think you should name her after me. Your wife will get used to it. Just give her time. :P

The second straight guy I came out to was this past Sunday. I'm the secretary for my Elder's Quorum, and have been for a year and a half. Well, over the last 6 months or so I've really been slacking in my duties. I've just had so much emotional baggage weighing me down that I haven't been interested or motivated to try very hard at my calling. Just recently I've had a resurgence of desire to get my church activity back to where it used to be, including doing better at my calling. When I woke up on Sunday morning and was saying my prayers I got the distinct impression that I needed to talk to the Elder's Quorum President and let him know why I had been a slacker, let him know that I was redoubling my efforts to do a good job, and to let him know of my struggles that I had last year.

It was kind of odd, but I felt I should do it. So, lo and behold, during Sunday School I was in the clerk's office doing some stuff and in walks the EQP. Coincidence? I think not. I asked him to sit down so I could chat with him, and I spilled the beans. He was so cool about. He offered his support in any way that I needed it, and reminded me of the great counselors he has and to tap them for help if I needed it. It was a great experience.

I also let him know that I was finally in a good place with it all and feeling a lot of peace about my decision to remain active in the church. I also mentioned to him that statistically, and on my gaydar, I know that there are several other guys in the ward in my same boat and if they needed assistance in the form of talking to someone who shares their issues, that he was free to have them talk to me. He agreed (almost too rapidly) that there were other guys in the ward in the same boat as I was, so I got the impression that he does know of a few others. No surprises there. :P

Anyway, chalk up another two good experiences with coming out.


MoHoHawaii said...

Congratulations on coming out to two more friends. In my experience, coming out brings you closer and improves the quality of the relationship. Plus, it's kind of a relief not to have to edit what you say anymore.

(These days I'm feeling that what unites us is always more important that what may divide us.)

This is great!

Max Power said...

It is a relief not edit what I say. That's why I've told so many people over the last few months. I think that outside of my immediate family I'm up to about 2 dozen people now. It's great being able to be myself around them and not keep secrets.

These two were just a precursor to the three guys that I really need to come out to - my band mates. They are my closest friends, so I want to stop editing my conversations around them, but it will have it's awkwardness.

"So, remember how we went on tour to Europe twice, and we ended up sharing beds in the hotel rooms?"
"Well, you were sleeping with a gay guy."

I dunno. That just sounds kind of awkward to me. :P It'll be fun!

Sean said...

I'm glad that you have had good experiences. I think that you should tell your band mates just like that (it's like the email that I need to send to a certain someone)! hahaha! It was way fun to talk to you tonight and I can't wait to come and visit! :)

Rich said...

You're just coming out to everyone aren't you? :)

As for sharing beds, when I was at a conference in Pittsburgh last October, I shared a bed with a gay guy as you put it. Two in one bed, how nice. (Four guys sharing one room). Anyway, no worries. I wasn't attracted to him at all and I'm fairly sure that he's not attracted to me.