21 March 2008

Getting "Out" There

Well, I came out to about 25 of my friends today. We'll see how they respond. Hopefully this weekend I will get the time to sit down and write about why I decided to start telling people en masse. Here's the email I sent:

Good morning!

I wasn't sure how to do this, because I had a bunch of
people to tell. And I wanted to do it all at the same
time, but that wouldn't work out. Blah, blah, blah, so
it ends up that I'm sending all of you an email. Hope
you enjoy it. And, the first thing you're going to
think is "This is a really lame joke." It's not a
joke. This is one of the few serious emails you will
ever get from me.

You are all my good friends, and for one reason or
another I wanted you to get this message rather than
hearing it word-of-mouth or otherwise. No, I'm not
getting married. Far from it. In fact, what I'm
writing to tell you is that I'm gay.

I know that this probably isn't a big surprise to some
of you, but maybe it is to others. I mean, why else
could I possibly be this awesome and still single at
this age, right? (There was a little sarcasm in that
one. Just a little.)

Now, don't worry, I'm not about to announce that I
have a boyfriend and we're moving to Massachusets to
get married. I still have a very strong testimony of
the gospel that I can't deny. I have worked my hardest
over the years to remain a faithful, Latter-day Saint,
and I fully intend to keep on doing that. In fact, I
still have the goal of some day being married to a
woman and being a father. It's a lofty goal, and there
are tons of things to work through for it to happen
and be successful, but hopefully the Lord will grant
me that one. As for now, I'm at peace with the
prospect of remaining a single member of the church.

This last year has been the toughest year of my life.
Many of you probably noticed that I was less sociable,
and maybe a bit gloomy whenever you saw me. That was
because a year ago was when I finally decided to
tackle this issue head-on. I couldn't suppress it any
more, it was driving me absolutely crazy. I just plain
broke down emotionally in Feb 2007. It's taken a long
time to put the pieces back together and get to where
I am today. I won't go into the details of all of that
here. I think that's best left for conversation. If
you are interested, I am more than willing to talk
about my whole coming-out and reconciliation process.

Anyway, you are all my friends. I love you dearly. And
I hope that this knowledge doesn't change that for
you. Please don't feel awkward about talking to me.
I'm over the awkward phase. Some of you may not be
comfortable talking about it, and that's okay too.
It's the same with my family, some of them like to
talk about it, others don't feel comfortable. So I
leave it up to the individual. I'm not one of those
obnoxious out-and-proud fags that is going to shove it
in your face. I prefer being chill about it.

And also, if a situation ever arises where you're in a
conversation with other people and the topic comes up,
don't feel like you need to lie for me. I am okay with
other people knowing. I finally feel comfortable in my
own skin. Oh yes, for you married folk, feel free to
tell your spouse.

So, I'll leave it at that for now. I'm sure your mind
is blown. Have a great day! :D

By the way, please don't think that wearing the kilt
is a cross-dressing thing. I'm not one of "those"
types. Trannys are creepy, gross and disgusting. Eeew.
I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

Love you all,

P.S. A couple of the girls on distribution already
knew, and I just wanted the others to know who else
knew so that they could talk amongst themselves if
needed. Girls need that kind of thing apparently.

P.P.S. Joe/Kenny, remember how we all ended up having
to share beds at one time or another in the UK? Yep.
You slept with a gay guy. You guys are such fags. :P


uncle arthur said...

Well Done!
Am keen to be kept up to date with everybody's responses.
Were they all LDS?

Kengo Biddles said...

I'm glad you can laugh about it some...this is something that would absolutely terrify me. I'm not at that point yet, at all.

Max Power said...


Yep. Everyone I sent it to was LDS. This morning I woke up and had a few responses in my inbox. They were very sweet and supportive.


Who said it wasn't terrifying? :)

Sean said...

Oh Maxy Poo (I can believe I just wrote that, but I'm going to leave it cause I wrote it), you are so silly and I love you tons! I hope all goes well for you and that you can almost be a 10 on your outtie scale! Talk to you later.

PS He emailed me again... awkward!

Samantha said...

That's a big step and takes some courage. I would caution you about the latter part of your message. I know some men and women (even some who are in mixed-orientation marriages) who are cross-dressers or who feel more comfortable in clothing made for the opposite sex. I know some who feel that they are not the same gender as their bodies dictate. This is a real phenomenon and these are real people--and that feeling you got talking about them--that is similar to how many people feel when they think of people who are gay and lesbian.

Be careful. Be kind. You're talking about a group of people who wishes for love and acceptance as much as you do.

Max Power said...


Yeah, in retrospect I kind of regret that particular comment I put in the message. I'm amazed at how much gay bashing I still do. I'm a little ashamed of that.

Oh well, I guess I have yet another personality trait to work on. :)

Thanks for calling me out on that.

D-Train said...

Wow. As you know, I am still at the very beginning of my whole coming out process, but I hope that someday I can have a similar approach and level of comfort with my sexuality. Glad to hear that you have gotten some positive responses back from your friends. I look forward to the day when I am ready to send out a similar email to my friends.

TweetyJill said...

I was going to say something similar to what Samantha said. I appreciate your acknowledging your "error" (for want of a better word).

And on the topic of pointing out things that may make for discomfort: I don't know how you feel (I can't remember if you have mentioned this issue on your blog in the past) but I know that the use of the "f-word" might make some people uncomfortable too. However, as a black woman who refuses to use the "n-word" and do not think anyone should, but know lots of people who think otherwise, I can appreciate how you may think otherwise. I just wanted to point it out.

Feel free to NOT post this comment. I have been following your story but I have never commented before. And no, I don't know you. I say these things with the utmost respect.