25 April 2007

Single's Conference

I debated a lot of posting this because it gives the final clue as to who I am in real life (at least to people who already know me in real life). A few of you MoHos know, and that's cool. My parents and a few relatives know. A few friends know. I'm not 100% sure that I'm ready for the rest of the world to know just yet. So, as I sit here and write this I have no intention of pushing the "publish" button. If you are reading this that means I got super brave for a split second and threw caution to the wind. Damn the torpedoes! Of course, I always reserve the right to remove this post once I've posted it and realized that I really didn't want to.

This weekend is the grand Huntington Beach Mid-singles conference. And yes, I will be attending. I hate conferences, but I got roped into helping out with it. I guess the upside is that since I'm helping I don't have to pay to attend. Lucky me.

I have never been a fan of conferences. I can only remember one good youth conference that I went to as a teenager. I don't remember any other type of multi-day, non-General conference that I took kindly to. To me they are just so lame. This one is no exception. The people who spearheaded the whole effort are just annoying the crap out of everyone because they refuse to accept other people's inputs. They want to be the King and Queen of the conference. In fact, the King has anointed himself one of the keynote speakers at the sacrament service on Sunday.

I attend said Huntington Beach 1st ward. I refer to it as the Isle of Misfit Toys. Basically, it's all of the 30-40 year old singles in Huntington Beach all thrown together into one group, along with the smallest family ward in the stake. There are around 100 singles on the roll, and about 70 of us are active. There are a lot of great people there, but no one is getting married. There's a reason we are all still single at this age. For most of the girls it's due to some lack of self-care, or insanity. For the guys it's laziness, pickiness, and gayness. I'm fairly positive that there are at least 6 other gay guys in my ward. None that I know of for sure, but I have pretty darn good gaydar.

Anyway, this conference is supposed to have upwards of 800 people attending it. Imagine that. 800 (3:1 girls to guys) 30-something, single, sexually-repressed, overweight, unattractive Mormons all converging together to try and "make new friends." Oh, the torture! I'm getting nauseous just thinking about it. There are people from all over the country, Canada, Puerto Rico, Japan and New Zealand flying in to attend this conference. Yikes! Talk about desperate! They cut off registration for girls last week because the girl/guy ratio was so out of whack.

So, it's late I feel like this post is becoming less and less coherent, so I should stop soon. I just wanted to write something about the coming weekend which has the potential to be the best ever or one of the lamest ever.

I've got $10 on lame.


playasinmar said...

You are so gonna meet Mr. Right at this thing.

My Best Is All I Have said...

I can only hope so. Maybe his name will be "playa".

n/a said...

I'm just curious whats the running price to get in?

My Best Is All I Have said...



I think it's $75. If you want to come to it and be the young guy of the group, you are more than welcome to come stay in my spare bedroom.

Just to be sure you're clear on it, the age range has been advertised as 30-40. So, you really would be the youngest person there.

Marmoreal said...

and here I thought conference lameness was an east coast disease (couldn't pay me to attend one. whatever the dates are for the next one around these parts, I'm sure I have some work obligation or something!)
good luck....