03 April 2008

Two Weeks On

It's almost two weeks since the mass coming out, and I must admit that it's been fairly uneventful.

I recounted the number of people I sent the email to, and then tallied up those who have responded. I sent it to 21 individuals/couples and of those sent messages I received a response from 16 of them. Everyone was really great about it. They were very supportive of me. The majority were email responses, but a few people actually called to talk to me.

Ammon and Kenny were the frist to respond. They are two of my band mates and my best straight guy friends on the planet. The first thing they did was make sure that I didn't hate them for any gay jokes they had made in the past. Coincidentally, I had been arbitrarily tagged as the "gay guy" in the band who was supposed to take one for the team in order to increase our fanbase. Little did they know that the thought of taking one for the team was not so objectionable to me. =D I assured them that everything was fine and forgiven, but now the jokes might not be so funny.

The biggest relief I felt from one of the responses was from my home teacher, Chandler. He is literally the nicest person on the face of the planet. I love that guy - and not in a gay way. I love him in a if I could choose anyone on earth to be my adopted brother, it would be him kind of way. I was a little nervous that the whole thing might freak him out a little. I'm not sure why I thought that. He is the nicest person on the planet after all. Anyway, it felt so great when he came up to say hello to me on Sunday and greated me with a great big hug, and then just talked to me the way he normally does. It felt really good to not have some awkward wall between us. And now I have a great, sympathetic straight guy that I can talk about stuff with. I'm so happy about that one.

The people who haven't responded, I'm not so worried about. A few of them are old friends that live far away and won't hear through the grapevine at church about everything. And I'm actually not sure if the email addresses I have for them are still valid.

One has been gone on vacation, so I haven't seen him at church yet. One I saw and talked with at church. It was a very normal conversation, as if he didn't know. I'm wondering if he actually got the email.

The last one, I saw her at church on Sunday, but just in the crowd. I don't know if she is avoiding it because she's uncomfortable, or if she just missed the email. I think that she was gone on vacation, and maybe hasn't caught up yet on everything. But, I also suspect something. You see, I found out that my friend's therapist is therapyizing (there's a new word for ya!) a girl in my ward who is struggling with homosexual attractions, and I've suspected that it might be her. She shows up on my gaydar, but I'm not so sure how fine tuned my system is when it comes to picking lesbians out of the crowd. I hope she talks to me.

All in all, it went a lot smoother than I thought it would. I'm not going to bank on it staying like that forever, though. :)


Kengo Biddles said...

I'm so very glad that this has gone over so well. This is something I've thought of for some time, and just haven't ever been able to bring myself to do.

I hope it continues to work well for you, Mr. Max! :)

MoHoHawaii said...

I just wanted to say that I think that what you're doing by coming out to your entire circle is admirable.

In my experience, coming out is the single most powerful way to 1) improve the quality of our relationships with those we love and 2) make a positive change for those of our tribe who come after us. I expect that you will have virtually nothing other than positive responses and increased intimacy as a result of your coming out.

I think you are setting an important example for gay folks in the church, namely, that you can stay in the church (and live its standards) and still be open and authentic in your relationships with others.

The hiding and the shame and the social stigma just need to stop. We're past that.

Again, congratulations!

Max Power said...

Thanks for the kind words MHH. :)

Beck said...

This post lives up to your blog name... you give us all hope! Thanks.

MohoInTx said...

I am happy things are going well for you.

It's been a week since I came out to my siblings and their spouses, which comes out to be about 10 people. I still haven't heard from a handful of them, but everyone is alright with it so far.

But yah, the whole thing for me has been kind of uneventful as well.