Has it really been three months since I last wrote? It's true, once the angst was out of me I lost my muse. Although, from a personal sanity perspective, that's not a bad thing to lose. :) So, here are some random thoughts.
Where am I at right now in my life? I am happy. I love the person I am with. We're like an old married couple now. We've lived together for 1.5 years now (wow!). The honeymoon is over and now we're just living our lives. We have plans for the future (that are totally flexible, depending on what random opportunities come our way). We have great friends here in So Cal (and other places too). We have a lot of great things going for us.
I wouldn't say that we live in bliss. We just live like a normal, loving couple. He does have some personality quirks that get on my nerves occasionally (and I know that I have some that bug him as well), but show me one couple in the world where that isn't the case. The best part of being committed to each other is being able to get over the little annoyances of life and still have the person you love lying next to you at the end of the day.
Here's something that may be interesting to a few of you. I think that our relationship is very different than a classical one. It's kind of a touchy issue to address, and I'm sure there are gay MoHo couples out there who would disagree with our perspective: We are both completely okay with the other person looking at, making comments about, and even touching other hot boys. It's kind of a game to see who can spot the hottest guy at the beach, or at the bar, or wherever we find ourselves. We are realistic. We're both men, and we're both gay - we're always going to want to look. And gay men also seem to have the propensity to look more than straight men do anyway.
Ours is not like some lame hetero relationship where the guy looks for half a second too long at some passerby and his wife gets all up in arms about it. We aren't jealous like that. We don't feel threatened by it. We both know who it is we love and want to go home with. And you know what? It works.
The other day we saw this guy with the most amazing abs ever and I commented, "Wow, I wish I had abs like that!" D's response was, "I wouldn't complain if you had abs like that." It was funny. It wasn't offensive. We like our relationship being like that. It takes a lot of pressure off.
Anyway, those are my random thoughts for now. Maybe I'll think of something else to write before another three months pass...