Wow! I did NOT expect the question that was asked of me today, and therefore didn't have an answer for it. It made me think all afternoon, and I still haven't come to a complete answer yet.
The person who asked me the question is a coworker of mine who is a lesbian. She and her partner worked the company booth at LA Pride with D and I last week. I hadn't talked with her very much before then. But, after two hours in the booth, chatting in between visitors, I got to know her a bit more. She is a pretty interesting person. I'll call her Consuela.
Today was my monthly lunch outing with one of the other guys from the work GLBT group. I'll call him Steve. Consuela had mentioned to me that she'd like to go out to lunch sometime to chat some more, so I invited her to come with Steve and I today. We spent an hour and a half (oops) eating and chatting at Chipotle (mmmmmm, so tasty...) and enjoying each other's company.
Well, apparently between our time in the booth last weekend and lunch today, Consuela deemed me to be a pretty decent person, because here is the question she asked me later in the afternoon on Facebook: "I was wondering if you ever thought of being a donor?"
What? Like a kidney or bone marrow?
So, would I ever be a sperm donor for a lesbian couple?
First of all, I was extremely flattered that I was even asked that question. Apparently I am charming to all women, straight and lesbian. ;) Then, after I got over my flatteredness (?) I started thinking about it. And thinking hard.
On the one hand, at this point in my life I probably won't be able to father my own kids. Obviously, D does not have the biology conducive to something like that. And, as we have researched donor eggs and surrogate mothers, we have found that it is out of our financial powers - unless there is some majorly wealthy moho benefactor out there who wants to pitch in $150k. Any takers? So, in order for me to pass along these fabulous genetics of mine, it seems that sperm donor is about the only realistic avenue.
On the other hand, I don't know if I could live with the thought of knowing I had a son/daughter of my own flesh and blood out there who wasn't a part of my life. Maybe I would have visiting rights, but for legal reasons I would probably have to sign away my parental rights.
Would if they turned out to be lousy parents, and I had no rights and could only sit back and watch disaster fall upon my only offspring? Then again, would if they turned out to be wonderful parents and I was able to be involved in the child's life?
So many thoughts are racing through my head over this one.
What do you guys/gals think? I'm open to thoughts/concerns from all sides of the spectrum.