04 November 2008

Now What

Today we are going to see what happens here in California with regards to the gay marriage ban. Polling is showing that it is going to come down to the wire.

Over the last few months I have felt less and less connected with the people at church. It's strange. I say my prayers every day. I listen to the Book of Mormon on CD every morning while driving to work. I feel connected with the doctrines of the church, but I feel like I've lost my connection with the people.

It's tiresome to sit there and listen to the one-sided debate that goes on there. So much so that I just couldn't stand going last week. I stayed home. And I probably won't go this week either - except to play the piano for choir practice after church. I just don't want to talk to anyone.

I've had lots of discussions about the gay marriage thing. I posted on facebook about it (and basically came out to everyone) and had a long followup discussion (80+ comments) that many people have told me they have read through. I've also read a lot of other peoples posts and comments about it. And through all that, I've noticed something. The underlying reason for why people are against it is because they think homosexuals are gross. It's the "ewww" factor. They are uncomfortable with two men or two women expressing their natural affections to each other. That's what it boils down to. If you sit back and read the uncensored, undiluted comments of people, that is really their underlying theme - "yuck".

It's all disguised (and not that well) behind arguments such as "they'll teach gay marriage to our children in school". Do you know what? If you as a parent are counting on public schools (which I pay taxes for your children to attend, even though I don't have any kids) to teach morality to your kids, then you have failed as a parent. If you are naieve enough to think that your kids don't already know about all that from the pervert kids in their class, you are a lousy parent. I knew all about sex looooooong before it was ever brought up in a class in school.

Anyway, I'm also writing this post to mention that I probably won't be writing much more in this blog. I've kind of moved beyond my need for anonymity, and have started posting thoughts and such on my facebook blog. I may return here every so often to write something that I don't want to necessarily broadcast to everyone I know, but don't count on it happenign too often. If you are interested in keeping in touch, send me an email and I'll give you my facebook info so we can link up on there. Just remember that you have no anonymity there.

Hope to see you on facebook.


Evan said...

Oh, you should see the conversations I have on facebook as well... especially between my siblings.

They all know I have SGA, but I have never told anyone outside of my family... so I am sure many of my friends may be suspecting. If they want to know, they can ask me :)

I like keeping up with your blog! I'll miss it. Add me on facebook if you feel like it... look for Evan Clayson.

Hopefully the debates die down soon though. I have a feeling it will take longer than expected for that to happen though :(

Beck said...

I've been eager to see your comments here on what's happening in CA. I'm sorry it's been so negative you can't even feel the connection to attend church. I think that's a common feeling among MOHOs who are trying to love the Gospel and live its principles yet feel disconnected to the Church membership.

The "yuck" factor sums it up nicely. Many just can't get past it. They are stuck at that point of disgust and can't jump to anything else.

I will miss your blog. Thanks for having "hope".